FATHER OF CHILD WITH AUTISM

HAppY

NEW

YEAR

EVERYONE

Well it’s a kind of progress,
Who am I kidding . Ok it’s a step in the right direction.
Whoa There. More like a nudge in the right direction.
They have developed a strategy .
Yes they have .. Hang on a minute …
He has even signed it along with 3 teachers.
I cant see my name. ! looks !!! No I never agreed
That my son has to follow and obey all the rules in order to receive
The kind of environment needed.
Oh yes it gets better, he has to give up having Autism in order to use
A room without anyone in.
So Daniel my son looks like you must a find a way to rid your self of
Autism ..
You want to know the strategy. Thought you might.
Daniel it says would like to work in the group room by his classroom.
This it says would enable Daniel to.
Work independently. (yes that would help him)
It says it would give him his own space to help him maintain a low level of
Anxiety. .. Great stuff I thought . Then I carried on reading.
In ordered to be allowed to use the group room Daniel MUST..
Not keep asking the teacher to use the group room.
He must listen to adults when they speak to him.. ( they want eye contact off him)
He must come in the classroom quietly .
Here is the biggy , bigger than the look at us or lose your own space when were talking too you clause..
Be prepared to sit / work by other pupils in the classroom.
It says Daniel will spend the first few minutes listening to the teacher to find out what work he needs to do for that lesson. ( Wow whole few minutes).
When the teacher says he can take his work into the group room to complete. He is too return to class for the plenary.
If he needs help with his work he is too stand in the doorway of the group room with his hand up, Waiting PATIENTLY.

So if he Gives up having Autism and ADHD and OCD he can sit in the group room
To lower his anxiety and gain his own space.

But lets go back. Back in time. >>>>>>>>>>>
Everyone here.

Did they not start this by making people sit by him.
They started the problem that makes him worry untill he sleeps at night about
When someone else will sit by him.
And to top it off. To get the privilege of the empty group room he has to accept people sitting by him.
Make eye contact so they know he is listening.
Etc . etc . etc.
So he needs to GIVE UP HAVING Autism and ADHD and OCD .
I say it Again. )))))))))shouts(((((((((((

THE SCHOOLS JOB IS TO EDUCATE HIM NOT CURE HIM.
He is at the moment curled up in ball worried that he will forget the RULES
More like clauses .

They are playing with his head and feelings.
I wish they stop expecting him to have empathy .
Spoke to an expert today.
You cant enforce Rules onto children like Daniel.
They just cant be expected to conform to rules.
Plus it causing different patterns of routines as well.

Its Autism it canT be turned on and off…………..

They should be ashamed..

HE DOES NOT WANT CURING HE JUST NEEDS UNDERSTANDING

Its Amazing… .In Fact
Its Completely Utterly Gob Smacking Atrociously Maddening Mind Bending Brain Storming.
To think that a child with Autism can just be made to acquire the following lesson targets and be put on a report to make them do so.
If he could acquire such targets I would suggest that somehow they have solved half of the problems
that stem to communication problems that autistic children like Daniel have. Not to mention the lack of empathy they have through no fault of their own. And also solving why instructions and the thoughts of neurotypicals are not always understood. I think they really think they have found a way to solve the common traits of Autism.

I think NOT…..

These are the following targets he has been set because they believe he has shown unacceptable behaviour. Although I know different .ITs Autism not unacceptable behaviour..
Lesson Target 1. Speak quietly and with respect to adults.
Lesson Target 2. Follow instructions 1st Time.
Lesson Target 3. To ACCEPT different people may have to sit by him and work with him.

If he could do any of these First time or without panic . His AUTISM WOULD NOT BE A PROBLEM.
Would any one even know he ever had Autism if he could .
They are putting class members in close proximity (next to him) . He cant Accept this .Anyone who knows someone or indeed if you have Autism know that the fear or dislike of this can cause anxiety .Followed by outburst of dislike. whats worse Daniel expressed to the teacher that he needed to sit alone at his desk..this is then making him show his dislike of being touched which makes the class members sitting by him ask why he dislikes being touched.
Trouble is the class members they are sitting next to him do not have Autism.
They are asking Daniel why he does not like being touched.
Daniel replies with the truth as he see it. One reason is because he thinks he might get germs. They ask he tells. They get upset . Daniel gets told off for upsetting them.
The teacher is creating the problem.
You Can Not force Some one with Autism to just decide its ok that the class member the teacher has just sat next to him is a good thing.
To Daniel its frightening. It breeds terror in side him.
He likes to work alone.
Last instance they sat someone near Daniel i was told its Daniels fault. By replying to the class members question he had in fact picked on them.
So is Daniel to lie about why he cant face people sitting by him. So he does not hurt their feelings. Hang on a minute. Daniel cant show empathy. It does not mean he cant be loving or caring but it does mean he can be seen to be as if he is simply being horrible.
He just cant fathom the fact that he may be saying something that could upset some one else.
The teacher told me Daniel knew what he was saying and the effect it would have.
Blimey she knows more than the experts who diagnosed him. And get this.
She can understand because she has a daughter who is borderline OCD.
The comparing argument again .
Has for speaking quietly he does unless someone invades his space with
Tonal voices accusing him of being the one in the wrong. He cant know that his actions would upset any one he is just being honest. They challenge his calmness by forcing things on to him that even his specialist say should not happen. They creating the outburst from forcing there ways onto him. Or should I say what I believe is their rules I believe they think it will give him life skills. All it has done is got my son put on anti-depressants at age 11 because they think he knows what he is doing and they think they can get him to get over it. Its made him anxious and scared. To be honest I
Am glad he cant be stretched academically at this school as they show little or no understanding of how his autism effects him. They raise their voices to me and they have spoke to Daniel in a tonal way in front of me too. Rule one. Don’t Raise your voice to my Autistic son. He will respond the same way.

Anyway the most Amazing thing is they want him to complete the targets in two weeks while on report. If Daniel could do this it would be a miracle. If he do it in 5 years it would be a miracle.
For the record I do agree that boundaries must be set. I don’t agree that they should be forced upon on a child endangering his mental stability because their Rules must be followed.
If you don’t want the behaviour fallout don’t create the battle. Its a war you cant Win . You cant force Neurotypical Values on a Child who has Autism.
Talking To Daniel I have found out that his thoughts don’t count. They have told me he knows its wrong. Daniel will say anything to stop people getting in side his head.If you go on and on he just blocks it anyway.
Does he have empathy. NO.. Does this make him naughty NO. Can he follow instructions 1st time NO. Can he accept in his head that its ok to sit near people. NO.
Does this mean he is Naughty. NO. Can he help talking loud . No.
Can he cope with routine changes . NO.
I am not saying bend every rule. I am not saying break every rule. I am not saying change every school rule.
But forcing things that cause him anxiety and stress then making out his behaviour is unacceptable because of his reactions is Breaking every guideline that should be followed.
Im not even sure its in line with his statement of educational needs. it’s the job of a school to educate not cure my son. It may be a special needs school albeit not specifically for Autistic children and it shows. When you say to a child with Autism that he should be able to do something because another child with Autism can it shows a lack of awareness that is quite outrageous. Rules rules rules don’t break the rules. Being Autistic is not an excuse for breaking School behaviour rules APPARENTLY. .
Remembering he has A.D.H.D as well. Its us at home feeling the brunt of the way they have made him feel. But its ok because I know it’s A.D.H.D and OCD and
A U T I S M
But what do I know after nearly 12 years of looking after Daniel.
Seems it can be got over.

So They Think.
Oh and don’t forget Don’t Break the Rules.

Could not get to say these things at school. It as if they dont want to hear what i have to say. Although been asked to make appointment after my visit last friday . Plus they get each other to knock the door of the room your in to end meetings quick.
Inside info . well wouldnt you know.

Ps... to whom it may concern... if this offends you then dont read it. whoops too late.
HE DOES NOT WANT CURING HE JUST WANTS UNDERSTANDING......................

I THINK ITS CALLED AUTISM AWARENESS..... ROLL ON THE CHRISTMAS HOLIDAYS>
HOPE THIS FINDS EVERYONE WELL... GOD BLESS YOU ALL.....

A friends blog all about Autism and its every day issues.

http://www.supermom2005.blogspot.com/

Thanks